it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
