He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
