My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
