Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
