Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
