I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
