If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
