he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
