I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
