Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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