I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
