last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
