Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
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