He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
