just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
