i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
