Having a random hookup so left but love u
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
