Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
