just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Randomize
