Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Randomize
