I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
