Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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