I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
