so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
