Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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