Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize
