i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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