Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
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