Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
