I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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