things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Randomize
