I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
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