Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Randomize
