i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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