How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
