Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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