Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
