Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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