oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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