gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
