I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Even my vagina gasped.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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