I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
