i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
