I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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