I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
