Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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