and she was petting her beer can
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
