I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Drake has all the answers
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
