I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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