That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
