Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
