are you so shy because you have an std?
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Randomize
