My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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