I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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